Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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