apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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