But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize