$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
