We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
