How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
