Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
