After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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