If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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