So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
