if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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