did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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