i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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