I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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