i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
