Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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