Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
