Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
