this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
