We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just cropdusted the office
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
