he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it glows. i had to have it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
