when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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