I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I have post one night stand depression
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