So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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