i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
