Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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