And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
