ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
