seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
