he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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