i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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