My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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