she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
