Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
