How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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