I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize