It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
