How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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