I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
