You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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