I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
