Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
