I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
