Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We're too hungover to prance.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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