i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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