An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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