oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Bring me that man meat
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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