508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize