I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he laminated a picture of his dick.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
