dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Come share oat with me in your robe
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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