i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
