perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
