the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
