so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
