Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
