No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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