apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
