If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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