This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
