Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
