i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
