any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
