if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I wear drunk well.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
