My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
