My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
