so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
only if we run a train.
done.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
