she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
the liver wants what the liver wants
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
