I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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