Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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